I was set to start Lithium yesterday on top of the Lamotrigine I am already on. I have had to delay this for the time being as I have a bad cold.
This was a diary entry some time ago:
Not so good. I am not so good. My mind has a happening-influence over history’s events. I am near panic-stricken and heart-dartzing for I start at every noise and news. I am neither old nor new in the scheme of things. Everything happens – all due to my thoughts. There are forethoughts and afthoughts and my dreams have shaken the world and I am so frightened. Perfection is a reflection in God’s eye. All the while, I sit in this corner, covering my head with my hands. My mother says I have done nothing wrong. What have I done, dear God, what have I done? I pray for forgiveness for giving is receiving. Just sometimes I near choke myself.
Aside from everything, there is a slip in my thoughts. They don’t grip as well as they used to. The forces are reversed. My mind has just gone.
Right now, I wish to be left in the snowstorm of an off-air television station and be allowed to die.
Thursday, 4 September 2008
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4 comments:
Oh!
I know the feeling. Are you doing a bit better now?
Good luck with the lithium. It's been a lifesaver for me.
Thank you, I am a bit better now.
This will be my second time on lithium - the first time, I suffered such bad tremors in my hands that I could not even write with a pen. Hopefully, it will work out now.
I hope you are doing ok.
I am fine. I remember the tremors. I couldn't drink a cup of coffee without it going all over my lap and the table.
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